living is easy with eyes closed











{September 15, 2007}   across the universe

Last night, Adriann and I joined Deana and her gal Lauren and Ben and Deana’s cousin (a triple date!) down at the Grove to see Across the Universe. I had really been looking forward to it, even though we had to drive all the way into LA to find the right theatre. It was just…beyond worth it.

I know it’s getting horrible reviews (I just read one) and some of what’s said is definitely true. The review I read mentioned how the director was extremely literal (”Strawberry Fields” comes to mind, where Jude — yes, of “Hey, Jude” fame — pins strawberries to a wall) and sort of missed out on what could have been an awesome sentiment about the current state of the world. He said it was “far removed” from 2007 and very much stuck in its era, though I honestly don’t see what’s wrong with that. I know it’s fashionable to draw parallels between Vietnam and Bush’s stupid war, but at the same time, it was really moving to see a different time. It really just made me feel hopeless, watching the scenes of Vietnam, and I was smart enough to connect the dots by myself instead of having the director do it for me. So to me, it’s okay.

The lieralness did get to me a bit. Only when several lines from the movie were direct Beatles’ song quotes (i.e. Prudence crawled in through an open window and Jude said, “She Came in Through the Window”).

Overall though, it was just lovely. I really adored listening to the singing and the way each song had a new sound. For example, “I Want to Hold Your Hand” wasn’t an up-beat pop tune but was a girl’s angsty lament about her unrequited love for a cheerleader. It was dark and weird and I loved it.

And as I touched on above, some of it was really brutal and terrifying. Thinking of war always makes my stomach clench, but watching one of the main characters suffer through Vietnam, watching all of his friends die around him, was almost too much. He was so young, and it just hit me that you really didn’t have a choice back then. If you were drafted, you went to war or went to jail. I’d like to think I’d go to jail for my morals, but if faced with that decision, I don’t know what I’d do. I guess sometimes women really don’t think about those kinds of things, because it’s not likely we’ll ever be drafted. Men I would think still have the chance to worry. I don’t envy them.

Anyway, that’s off topic. Another scene that hit me was their Vietnam protest. It was…eerie, actually, how much it resembled my experiences in protests over the Iraq War. The same people, the same chants, the same desperation and pain, the same images of people in body bags with white faceless faces… It was horrid but wonderful at the same time.

Adriann and I bought the soundtrack and listened to it on the way home. We’re hopefully going up to San Francisco for Yaoi Con from October 25th-29th, and I’m going to make a bunch of Beatles’ CDs so Deana can become a fan. ^_^ One step closer to making her like emo!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, not really.

I think this entry is done. I’m glad I’ve started posted again — oh crap, don’t want to jinx it!



{December 31, 2006}   saddam

Am I the only person in the world who felt a little…lost after reading Saddam was hanged? I mean, I don’t support him, I think he was a tyrant, and he killed a lot of people, hurt a whole country for his deeds. Yet… I can’t bring myself to be happy he’s dead. How can you be happy someone died?

Sometimes when I think about the fact that someone has just died, I get a strange feeling in my throat, like I can feel them dying and be dying with them. We’re all dying, I know, day by day, but I can feel it. It makes me nauseous and scared. I’m frightened of my own end, of the moment when I’ll be facing whatever the future plan for my death is…

I felt so sad as I thought about him walking up to the noose, having someone fit it around his throat, letting him hang there as he twitched and died.

It’s all over at that moment, and I wonder if he worried about his family, about friends, about loved ones, about regrets, about publicity, about anything. What do you think about just before you die?

Adriann and I recently saw Love at the Mirage in Vegas, and it’s got me thinking about the Beatles, how the two who were the most talented and inspirational are dead and the two who live on produce some meaningful things but mostly just go on being bland and ordinary. John Lennon would have done beautiful, incredible things. George Harrison did do beautiful, incredible things.

Harrison once said: “Everything else can wait, but the search for God cannot.



et cetera